help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Randomize
