This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
