Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
