Nicole vs. Life
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
