so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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