The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
MIDGETS
????
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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