You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
