I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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