I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I need mimosas to revive my soul
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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