? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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