i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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