Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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