Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
