So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
