The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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