I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
