there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize