I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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