checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize