Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
