I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
