Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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