before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
