I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
so much tequila, so little girl.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
