Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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