I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
