You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
