If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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