I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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