I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
