hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize