a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
the liver wants what the liver wants
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He keeps bees of course he's weird
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
