She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
