new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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