I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
