i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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