First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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