well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
