nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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