In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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