how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
