I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
