you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
