i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
