my soul wont recognize me after tonight
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
