You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
