ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
This is the high leading the old right now
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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