Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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