I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
