i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
