you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
