I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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