I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
where are my eyebrows?
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