You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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