ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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