I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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