real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
