So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize