Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize