apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize