I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
