Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
