Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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