So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Randomize
