You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
