I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
