I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize