I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
