I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
