But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
