she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
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