he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
