she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
