I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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