I got chris browned last night
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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